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You need to report problems associated with the many little and big things interfering with your life, including unfair and hostile acts to inconvenience, harass, embarrass and intimidate you in your relationship, your marriage or your workplace. 

So many "little" things all add up and are a form of domestic violence.

Are you embarrassed to share with others what is happening to you or your loved ones?

Now you can safely report exactly what is happening in your life and the abuse and suffering you are subjected to, or tell us about the simplest of problems that all add up and make your life very difficult.

 

Emotional Abuse


When most people think of domestic violence, emotional abuse doesn't often come to mind. They visualize bruises and broken bones, not the emotional scars that are often hidden by the victim.  

Mental and verbal abuse slowly tears down a person's self esteem after years of being worn down by constant criticism.

The following article can help you to understand the effects of emotional abuse and how it is inflicted.

1. "Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.

Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalize and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person’s work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.

The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.

2. You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behavior was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.

3. You’re more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you’ve been treated? Have you found yourself asking: “Is it reasonable to feel like this?” “Am I misinterpreting things?” “Have I got it wrong?”

If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you’ve stopped trusting in your own judgment. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can’t feel the strength of your own convictions.

4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever really tried to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologize for the hurtful things they’ve said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they’ve caused?

Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?

When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.


5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He or she can be affectionate but often highly critical of you. He or she may tell you how much they love you, yet are short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, you are treated as if you were disliked.

You do everything you can to make your partner happy, but it’s never good enough. You’re more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get attention and please him or her meet with limited success.

If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his or her own feelings of worthlessness and uses the relationship with you to create a feeling of personal power, at your expense.

6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread your partner's outbursts, the offending things that your partner will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spills over into your other relationships also.)

Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.

7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can’t do it, because the partner is working against him or her.

Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by emotional abuse, it is never too late to heal.

But you do need to work with a person or a program specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.

Men or women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.

Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past emotional abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.
 

                           

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We reserve the right to engage transcriptionists ,typists, computer operators, internet technicians or any support persons necessary to conduct the stated business who may have access to confidential records.

You must agree to waive any claim due to faulty dispensing of information unless the same is an intentional act with malice directed at the individual damaged by the same.

 

 

 

     

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While we do not  give legal advice or psychological counseling under any circumstances, our counselors are trained to understand the issues expressed by our callers and have at their fingertips volumes of links that will give you access to places where you can get further help, including::Attorney referrals, Psychological counseling referrals, Property evaluation referrals,  Government administration links, etc.  You only have to ask. Contact us today and let us help guide you to where the specific help you need can be found.

 

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